Life is Sweet but Not Always Easy!

Stop the world, I want to get off! I've said that more than once...often with a whine to the voice. Life can be very overwhelming. I'm sure you know what I mean. It's not like I have a monopoly on struggles. The Bible even acknowledges this fact as it also tells us not to fret about tomorrow because today has enough troubles of it's own. How very true! If it's not the car, it's the plumbing or an appliance or weeds growing too fast and vegetables not growing at all...and often...it's all of the above all at once! Argh. What is a person to do? Run away?

Don't think I haven't considered it! Dropping off the radar and hiding in a mountain cabin or Nowhereville someplace can seem very appealing when there is more week at the end of a paycheck and everywhere you look there are broken things needing fixin'. While I've not actually tried the "drop off the radar" idea, I have moved more than once trying to run away from problems. That is a habit I learned from my father. He was a Run-a-wayer Extraordinaire. I figured out something he never did: the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence or country. So, running away will not resolve a thing. The only option, therefore, is to stand. When all else fails: stand.

It is best to take that stand with family around you. As Solomon observed: a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Alone, you will fall. Together, you hold each other up. One gardens. Another cans. Another hunts. One plans and calculates. Another offers wisdom gained from a long life. Another fixes the plumbing. Individually, we would crumble. Together, we are a force to be reckin'ed with!

A couple of decades ago, I started dreaming about a homestead. A place where I could be self-reliant. Actually, it was a place to hide my heart from the world so the world could not hurt me anymore. A place a long...long...way from an unkind society. I read about gardening and permaculture and caring for livestock. I made plans. Thank God, those plans did not take form outside my head! He knew what I did not see, yet; that it would have been a hell of my own making.

When I moved here to live with Mother, I thought it was the end of the dream. I continued to read and dream but I held less hope of it coming into reality. Partly that was because I imagined a homestead had to be 5 acres in some remote location. Despite the apparent death of the dream, that urge for self-reliance I felt in my gut became louder as world events and that Still Small Voice inside turned into a drumbeat in my head "get ready...it's time to get ready...it's coming...get ready".

I never could have dreamt of what we have here on this little half-acre homestead. Never could I have hoped for the family that has formed here. Out of the ashes of pain and disappointment is rising up a Family that is knit together by love and respect rather than blood. We have a family where each individual uses their talents, abilities, and giftings to support the family. We also have friends. In times of challenge, you learn who are truly your friends and who are not. Sure, there are the false friends, the Brutus'. But, keep the faith because you will find the gold being purified in the same fire you are being purified in. Find the true ones and nurture that connection. We'll need all the true friends we can get -- very soon.

Healing is Also about the Blessing of Family and Friendships

Healing is more than just about diet, herbal supplements, and exercise. Healing also involves the emotional part of us. It is important to access where we are on the emotional level of our being. It may mean seeing a Counselor to work through past hurts (or current ones). There were times in my past that I sought after the help of counselors and those counselors helped me tremendously. In fact, I would even say that they kept me from committing suicide. With their help, and the help of a 12-step program, I processed the pain of being molested and of growing up with an alcoholic/abusive father. We make the choice to either be a victim, or be a victor. I chose, and continue to choose, to be a victor. The best type of victorious life is a life well lived.

Emotional healing may mean accessing our need for friends or to mend relationships with family members. I will tell you a secret: I've not had many friends in my lifetime. For reasons I never fully understood, I was that kid in the neighborhood and school that was everyone else's punching bag. I was mocked, humiliated, pushed, and hit just because it was the fun thing to do. The more I tried to disappear into the wallpaper, the more they tormented me. Until, that is, I reached high school. In high school (Texas Sr High in Texarkana, TX), I had two things on my side: my football playing brother and my art teacher. Being "Paxton's sister" saved me a lot of grief. And, when things still got to be too much, I could always go to the art room and find refuge. Mr. Deon would cover for me with the teachers and I could stay there as long as I needed to. I was forever grateful to him. I learned years later that kids perceived me as being "conceited" or "stuck-up". I suppose it probably looked that way. I was interverted and fearful due to years of torment at school (not to mention what was going on at home). Perhaps if I'd been able to connect with people, I could have had a different experience. The regrets are what we carry with us. We can continue to feel the shame or we can forgive ourselves and others and leave it as just a distant pain that no longer scars our hearts.

I wish I could say that, having dealt with the past, I am now blessed with many friends. Alas, not so. I try but my list of friends is still very short. I have a very dear friend, Neeny, who lives in Northern Virginia. She is like a sister to me. She knows me--the good, the bad, and the ugly--and yet she still loves me like a sister. You know you have a true friend when they see the very worst parts of you and don't run like hell in the other direction. Since moving here a decade ago, I have collected few names to my friends list. There were some I thought were but turned out not to be (betrayal is very painful). There are others who have proven their worth through quiet prayer support in my darkest hours. I think that is another good sign of a true friend--when you feel lost and all alone and beaten down, they lift you up in prayer and don't stop until a breakthrough comes. I am blessed. But, I'll let you in on a another secret: I still pray for a "Neeny" here...someone to "hang" with. You know, the type of friend you go to movies with or to the mall. The type of friend who will go clothes shopping with you and make you try them on in the store. The type of friend who will suggest that perhaps that outfit doesn't set quite the image you think it does. That is the kind of friend I keep asking God for. But, for the time being, I take comfort in knowing that I have the type of friends God knows I need the most.

And, hey, I have over a 100 Facebook Friends. That's pretty good for scared girl hiding in the artroom, don't you think?